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A 26 year old average Indian girl: the girl next door types. I have nothing extraordinary to differentiate me in the crowd but my job profile does grab some attention. Been an average student till my 12th and wished to be a Vet Doctor because I love the four legged more than the two legged, but the rat race took my toll. Did BSc in Biotechnology and managed to wear those Doctor’s coat, but tasted failure for the first time when flunked in Chemistry. Failure made me realize the mystery of my destiny and sowed a dream of journalism. A pointless journey saw its first point in journey and the dream sprouted as a crime reporter. After topping College kept jumping companies till I became a crime reporter (the blossomed dream). Destiny was kind and in Indian Express Bangalore, my dream bloomed and became a crime reporter within eight months of work. Three years later my name is counted among the few good crime reporters of Bangalore, which was a dream sown five years back. But ugly side of success has placed me where failure had placed me once. In a dream job but in search of a new dream, I write to be heard and to be told. I sow a dream eagerly wait to know what I would reap.

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

A mistake I made… I stepped out of my identity and questioned!

Relationships make you stronger. Those happy birthday cakes cut when the clock strikes 12, soothing smiles that open doors, the once-in-a-way giggly times sharing tales with your extended family, catching up with what’s happening in that distant cousin’s life, shopping something for another person every time you buy something for yourself… don’t these moments just make your life look more beautiful? Don’t these faces make you stronger every day to face the struggles of life? A small increment and long list of people to share it with... ahhh don't we just live for this....or ... Do we?

I may sound selfish here and I am not too sure if I am the only one looking at life from this perspective. I always thought my relationships made me stronger, made me focus, made me do well in everything I ventured into. But when I step out of my identity and witness myself, I see a different story. Every added relationship has made my life heavier. By heavier I mean the need to push myself and lose myself in the bargain. Then why build new relationships is what I ask?
We grow up looking at a small family around us and then the family grows slowly. Then you get married and suddenly the family has doubled. Now you have more people “concerned”, “interested” “worried” and yes advising you on your next steps. Do you still see yourself in you?
How have these added people added anything to your personality? In a span of 20 or 30 years you are just not the same person as you were supposed to be. No decision is yours but you are responsible when things go wrong. No plans are planned your way but you are to be blamed for not making a plan work. You are answerable to every message that sits in your inbox or every person who shares a chat with you.

I am not here to say why get into relationships. I am here to understand how any person around you has strengthened your personality.
I am not here to say I am right and the whole world is wrong…
I am here to understand the other perspective!
I am not here to say stop building relationships…
I am here to ask what strengthens relationships!
I am not here to say live a lonely life…
I am here to know why your life should interest anyone else!
I am not here to say live just for yourself…
I am here to ask… have you ever lived your life the way you want without giving it a second thought.
One life to live… Aren’t we better individuals being just the way we are?
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